One of the great things about taking a trip to the West is the peaceful serenity of the plains, prairies, buttes, and mountains. Everyone needs to disconnect from the grid occasionally and reflect on our amazing planet and the beauty that surrounds us, typically missed because his nose is buried in a cell display sending a text or checking status updates. At that point, even a 21st century man feels a connection to his ancestors who roamed this country on horseback, their newest ‘gadget’ the carbine rifle.

But then, even a nature-loving man like myself begins to miss a few things about the Internet, discovering firsthand the withdrawal induced when a beer falls over in the tent and quickly transforms a high-tech mobile gadget into a tent stake hammer.

Here are the top 5 things I miss now that I no longer have on-the-go mobile Internet access:

1. Can’t send mobile updates to this blog!
I had set up a couple methods to post in addition to the normal web interface, namely Jott and email-to-post. (Note: I haven’t found a way to post to WordPress.com from email, just self-hosted WordPress.)
I’m setting up Shauna’s phone now so we can hopefully Jott to the blog from it instead.

2. No more GPS
I used my LG Voyager not only as a mobile phone, texting machine, and Internet device, but also as a GPS navigator. This is not a good function to lose on a cross-country trip, as it’s one of the most useful features! It’s valuable for many reasons: get directions, find your current location, search for local businesses, and see how long it will take to get somewhere.

3. No mobile campground searching
It turns out it’s difficult to find a comprehensive, printed listing of campgrounds — at least one that’s not the size of a phonebook. I miss being able to search sites like Woodalls for campgrounds in a given radius.

4. No instant online photos
Until my camera adds a cell phone, I’m getting by with the cell with added camera. It doesn’t provide great photos, or even a flash, but it does the job of getting a photo from capture to sharing across the world in less than a minute.

5. No more phone
I thought I was done after #4, but then I realized that I do occasionally use my cell as a phone. I am so 2007…

I think slow is referring to my bicycling speed, but I'm not sure...

RAGBRAI is half bicycle ride, half post-pedaling party, and half people-watching extravaganza. Obviously there is some overlap to make those numbers work.

We were living in Chicago through most of the 2008 pre-RAGBRAI training season and this posed a little problem. Chicago is flat. Iowa is not (more about that later). Most of our Chicago rides were along the Lake Shore Trail. It was only a mile from my apartment and it’s irresistably scenic.

I can’t say how many training miles I put in because I was riding my new Jamis Satellite and hadn’t installed a bike computer until just before RAGBRAI. I’d guess a little over 300 miles. Recommended training was 600 miles, so I got half way there! You know that those “recommended training” distances are always over-estimated to compensate for people’s over-confidence in their abilities, anyway. (“I’m in great shape. I don’t need to train for this marathon. I’ll just wing it.”)

The center of the state of Iowa is called... *drumroll* State Center.

Shauna's birthday bicycling get-up. She did get some comments on the placement of those balloons.

RAGBRAI itself this year was 471 miles over 7 days of riding with 22,500 feet of climb (interactive map). The hardest day was Monday, the second day (my girlfriend’s birthday, ironically). We rode 83 miles and climbed 5239 feet. Since Sunday was a relatively short day, I didn’t experience real muscle soreness until Wednesday — it always takes 48 hours for the suffering to begin!

On the bright side, I was able to avoid chafing over the course of the week, so the worst-case suffering was avoided. (Sorry, but when it comes to long bicycle rides, you just can’t avoid this subject.) Of course, my sit bones were a bit tender to the touch, but that pain subsided to numbness after the first five minutes of the morning ride. Now, if you promise to keep it quiet, I’ll let you in on the secret to avoiding the fire of friction. C’mon. A little closer. This is top secret…

LIBERAL AND FREQUENT APPLICATION OF CHAMOIS BUTT’R!!!

This product is a gift from god dermatological scientists. I reapplied at every stop just to be safe.

Now, for the most popular RAGBRAI rumors.

RAGBRAI Rumor #1

There is pie.

Yes, there is pie in this picture. But it's harder to find than you'd think!

That statement is not entirely false, but there certainly is not the amount nor variety of pie on RAGBRAI that the media would have one believe. Especially when you’re pulling up the second half of the pack and all the good food has been picked over. (I became very accustomed to seeing half of menu boards crossed out.) My own guess is that pie is just too labor-intensive to bake in the quantities necessary to feed 20,000 hungry bikers, so it’s often replaced with grilled (frozen) hamburgers instead.

RAGBRAI Rumor #2

Iowa is flat.

As I mentioned above, we climbed 22,500 feet over the course of the week. That’s 2,000 more feet than the height of Mt. McKinley! (Of course, the Tour de France does this much climb in about 2 days, but those guys are pros!) Sure, some parts of Iowa are flat (the northern parts, particularly), but the western and southern regions have almost nothing flat. I remember thinking that exact thought, actually, during RAGBRAI. “Where the heck is flat road around here?”

RAGBRAI Rumor #3

You must be in great shape to bicycle 471 miles in one week.

The newest member of The Incredibles shows off his stuff.

While it is true that being in shape will make the ride a lot easier, I saw an incredible assortment of riders during the week, and I’m now convinced that if there is a will, there is a way to ride across the state. I crossed paths with a 72 year-old woman several times, and I’m sure she wasn’t the oldest rider out there. Some people were carrying a lot of extra weight up those hills, but they just took it slow and made it through. There were a number of riders with special trikes that are propelled by pedaling with the arms instead of the legs, and several amputee riders pedaling with their prosthetics.

And that brings me to the most important lesson I learned on RAGBRAI:

The only force that can stop you from achieving your dreams are your own doubts.

So, with that, get out of your own way and take on a dream today.

Dipping our tires in the Mississippi after completing the ride