WASHINGTON, DC — In a move widely lauded for its potential to reduce energy usage, President Barack Obama signed today an executive order formally changing the name of the country from the previous “United States of America” (USA) to the new title “America, United States of” (AUS).
Flag of America, United States of
The renaming is intended to quickly move the position of the United States to 4th on the alphabetized list of countries, behind only Afghanistan, Albania, and Algeria, from its previous position of 186th out of about 195. This new positioning promises dramatic reductions in list scrolling when AUS citizens complete the country field on internet address forms.
President Obama said of the change, “The United States has always been the number one country in our hearts. Now it is a bit closer to number one on the internet, too. No longer will you, your children, or your children’s children, face the wasteful and frustrating burden of scanning a long list of countries when ‘America, United States of’ is right near the top. Can we save our fingers and our mouse scroll wheels from penalizing, unending wear and tear? Yes we can.”
Economists estimate that the change will shorten the average form-filling process by 0.4 seconds. Extrapolated over the AUS population, this change will save approximately 7 million hours of form-filling per year and reduce energy usage by 560,000 kWh per year.
The change goes into effect today, April 1st, 2009, also known as April Fool’s Day.
This is marvelous! I think it’s a great idea. I always hated having to scroll allllll the wayyy down to united states of.
That Barack, he’s so smart.